| stick a fork in a socket, do what you'd like. just make sure that im far out of your life |
[15 Nov 2005|12:56pm] |
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 awake |
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music |
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nightmare of you-why am i always right? |
] |
its officially winter.
EW CRACKHEADS
haha just thought i should put that out there.
i have this little obsession with cheetos lately.
not that its a bad thing
just kind of pricey
i did the same thing with chips and salsa.
i probably spent like 50 or 60 dollars on chips and salsa the first two months of school.
lame.
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| i almost love this town when im by your side |
[09 Oct 2005|11:36pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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nada surf-killians red |
] |
fall break was exciting.
alcohol was drank IN EXCESS and memories were made.
rules were broken
....fuck man, chairs were broken...!!
drunken phone messages were left
pasta roni was surprisingly made, and surprisingly eaten.
now im sick
will's going to be busy like all this week (bastard!)
and i seriously need to find a fucking job.
life is good though.
!!!ATTENTION!!!
my BFF's band, auburn arising is playing at the chameleon on sunday with allister, a day at the fair, movies with heroes, and im guessing some other band. EVERYONE SHOULD GO TO THE SHOW AND SUPPORT AUBURN ARISING!!!! FUCK YEAH!! THEY ROCK SO FUCKING HARD!
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[26 Aug 2005|04:09pm] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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music |
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lo-tel : teenager of the year |
] |
so i moved into college yesterday morning.
three words.
i love it.
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[12 Aug 2005|09:46am] |
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mood |
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hungover |
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music |
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bright eyes-arc of time (time code) |
] |
so this birthday was the birthday to top all birthdays.
-tattoo
-30 dollar vodka
-cake
-promises of a strip club visit
-license in 3 weeks
-moving out in 13 days
happy birthday to me.
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[28 May 2005|08:48pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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radio berlin-change your mind |
] |
i have three more days until i am done with high school. forever.
and i have a D in math class
and might lose my honors membership in spanish
and i should be doing my 200 point final project with teresa right now, but im not
and i need over 250 dollars for senior week by june 8th, and right now i only have 50 bucks
i am worried for college.
i just spent a year meeting some of the greatest people in the world, and now i have to leave and do it all over again.
and i miss the people in maryland.
and saras never online anymore
plus the hilarious fact:
eve still thinks me and justin are going out.
which is funny because are telling her we arent, and she still thinks we're lying.
i am loving this. this summer will be the best one i have had in a long time.
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| i would wait for you forever |
[30 Mar 2005|09:35pm] |
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mood |
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blank |
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music |
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emery-the ponytail parades |
] |
so i guess its pretty final as of now im going to be leaving august 25th to start an entire new 'life experience' at elizabethtown college. things have changed i guess. its weird how things happen and it doesnt really phaze me that much. when i think back on the beginning of the year, things sucked so bad. my grandparents both dying, my dad going to jail, and i hate how i take things in stride. like when trey died. all i remember is something happened, and me and my mom got chinese food. and i was sitting in the car and she stopped at the cemetary while the burial was taking place, and she asked me if i wanted to go say goodbye to trey, and i said no. no one ever explained death to me. ever. he was my bestfriend. and nobody told me that he was gone forever. thats why i didnt cry. i didnt cry when my aunts parents died. i cried when my grandma died, but i didnt cry because she had died. i cried because that was a bad week at school. and things were still rough, and that was the last thing i wanted to think about. i feel like i have lack of emotions or something. i cry for retarded reasons, and not real reasons, which frustrates the hell out of me. i dont know why im thinking of this, it just makes me think thats all. sometimes it feels like something really bad happened when i was younger, because its like i cant remember certain parts of my childhood. every memory was hazy, and felt like i could have been dreaming or something. probably not though. i think 8 years of counseling would have solved anything i might have missed. thats one thing i really do miss. my psychiatrist. i miss having someone to talk to and talk about anything with and know that he could tell me what to do and was being honest. wasnt being my parent. wasnt telling me that i was stupid, or i hung with the wrong crowds. he was just there, and he understood.
i guess thats all. this might be my last entry. my sisters moving and i will not have a computer.
<3
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| every night i see a shooting star, and wonder if its landing where you are |
[26 Mar 2005|06:20am] |
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 indescribable |
] |
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music |
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ozma-shootingstars |
] |
so yeah. fridays are always the best.
went to eve's house to go easter egging yesterday. the 'theme' was clashing. so i had to pick up little justin and then we got there, and teresa and aziz were already at her house. then aj and josh showed up and we painted easter eggs and smeared dye all over each others arms and hands. i should try and scan the pictures of josh with 'easter egg in the sun' and aziz with 'when blue eggs cry' but then eves mom and dad went in the backyard to hide the eggs and then we went searching for them. josh held my arms back and aziz shoved egg in my mouth and i absolutely hate eggs. but then teresa rubbed egg in aj's hair and we had a fucking egg fight. then me and eve and justin walked up to steigel and just sat around the playground and walked to turkey hill and all that wonderful nonsense. then i went home, and got ready to go to the mall, and eve came and picked me up (with little justin of course) and we went to weis so i could get my paycheck and stop in to see nate. there was milk all over the parking lot, so we got a picture of me laying near it.
then we went to the mall. and i returned my shirt, and got a sweater, another pair of flip flops, a shirt, a bracelet, and a gift certificate for amy's birthday next weekend. nothing really all that good, except going to arbys like we do everytime we're at the mall, and i got an arbys wrap and the salad was brown. so i threw it on the wall and it stuck there, and then we proceeded in getting lost trying to find sheets where i would later purchase 3 green apple sodas and a bag of veggie crisps.
goddamn i love my life. every weekend is fucking action packed. haha.
but i should really save my money. two proms and one senior week no too far away....
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| the stars arent out tonight, but neither are we to look up at them, why does hello feel like goodbye |
[20 Mar 2005|03:35pm] |
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 irritated |
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music |
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matchbook romance-promise |
] |
so yeah.
friday- movies. ring2. SUCKS ASS. branden was my date. he payed for my ticket, and we had a good time. adam toilet papered and soaped brandens truck with hearts all over the windows, and 'fuckers' written on the back with shaving cream. hilarious. we then had to drive all over etown looking for a car wash. i met freshman justin. hes so great.
saturday- worked, then josh and aj picked me up and we went to joshs. we hung up in the loft and waited for justin to get there. then we listened to techno and went to dennys. we almost got kicked out of dennys. so we drove to lyndon. justin wanted to call my house and make my parents let me stay out later. justins a cool guy.
sunday- worked 6 1/2 hours. april told nate i like him. its sad, but true. and i feel like i have appendicitis or something. i am severely irritated with my current situation(s).
doing good in school, doing good at home i guess. everyone in the group has a fucking boyfriend or girlfriend so im always a goddamn wheel. and i am sick of being set up with people too. thats a big irritation of mine.
spectacular. easter is this sunday.
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| they were only words and i never meant them. i never loved you, even in my weakness. |
[15 Mar 2005|03:21pm] |
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 happy |
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music |
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basically the whole damn rilo kiley 'more adventurous' cd |
] |
yeah so my four day weekend as you may have heard was mediocre.
sunday afternoon eve and justin picked me up and we went to lyndon. our waitress was a bitch, so we went to wal mart instead. justin bought a cd, and me and eve got animal crackers. there was some kid wearing a parka and dancing in the parking lot. i rolled down the window and cheered for him. he gave us a 'rock on' symbol. then we went to blockbuster. i called sara, and eve and justin hid from me. then eve threw a dvd box and it hit me in the ovaries. then we went to wendys and ordered stuff of their value menu, and returned to justins house to watch 'saw'.
saw was a good movie. brandon came over and watched it with us. then after the movie, we proceeded in beating the shit out of each other with pillows, and throwing food at each other. brandon stuck his foot in my face repeatedly. it was gross. then i went home and that was it. monday i just layed around and watched the ring. thats it i guess.
today we went bowling in gym, and i suck at bowling.
movies on friday!!!!
i met some kid who reminds me of ryan from jc.
we linked arms and spun in circles as he screamed 'orgasm' at the top of his lungs.
finally, i feel like i have rebuilt a good social status here.
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| the talking leads to touching, and the touching leads to sex, and then there is no mystery left. |
[13 Mar 2005|03:48pm] |
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 tired |
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music |
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rilo kiley-portions for foxes |
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this was the weekend from HELL.
the bad:
-getting lost for 7 hours in the car with my mom
-fight with drunk sister at 2am
-sleeping on couch (due to drunk sister kicking me out so her drunk boyfriend can take my bed)
-having other sister almost puke on my face at 4:30 am (as i am sleeping on her floor)
-sleeping on uncomfortable as hell couch AGAIN.
-having to go to church
the good:
-having 80 mother fucking dollars burning a hole in my pocket
-my aunt katie giving me 20 of those dollars for the use of my room
-IM UNGROUNDED!!
-had berry smoothees and watched i heart huckabee's at teresa's saturday night
-no school tomorrow
-parents didnt tear me a new one for my grades
so yeah. thursday j lowe took me to work, and teresa drove me home from work. graduation project was alright. i only had to give a short speech. i just spent most of the time talking to some kid named nate about his project. saturday i worked for six hours. it was cool. only because i worked with like, my bff nate. because we SO have shirts with each others faces on them and everything.
thats it i guess.
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| i put on my overcoat and walked into winter, my teeth chattered rhythms.... |
[05 Mar 2005|07:19pm] |
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relaxed |
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music |
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death cab for cutie- i was a kaleidoscope |
] |
nothing much has happened really.
i did finally manage to get my prom dress and shoes. after trying on a billion dresses that is. yesterday we went to park city around seven, and me and eve and teresa ate chinese and then went into kohls and i tried on some shirts. i hate the way i look in things. i look so gay in everything i wear. then we went to deb to look through dresses and justin and j lowe met us there and then we walked around fye for awhile and i bought another death cab for cutie cd, and j lowe bought the rilo kiley one that i was originally going to get, but we decided we would switch cds in a couple of days and make ourselves copies. that was pretty much it for the mall. we saw anna and tish when we first got there, but other than that, nothing too exciting. then we all went to lyndon and thats when it started to get fun. me and j lowe tried to see who could eat seven saltine crackers in a minute and we had a race. needless to say, we both did it, only j lowe one because i had more crumbs on the table, and then i pretty much puked the crackers back up on the table. i felt like a fucking hamster. then eve called branden to tell him i was about ready to snort 2 lines of crushed up crackers. it was eventful.
this morning i woke up early and me and my mom went and bought my awesome dress and shoes. i really can hardly wait for prom. it's going to be so much fun seeing every one from jc again. not to mention i get to bring peaches to PA the week afterwards.
i made it into national spanish honors society!!!!
thats pretty much it.
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| im one inch from more than i can take |
[22 Feb 2005|01:10pm] |
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morose |
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jets to brazil-further north |
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all i can say, is that i miss sara.
it havent seen her since august, and i need to see her. i want to go home. nobody ever has or will understand me the way she does. people here just dont fucking get it sometimes.
shes the only person who knows what to say when im in a pissy mood. whenever i try talking to everyone else about my problems, they dont even listen. they are too caught up in their own lives to try and make me feel better. i cant wait until the summer. i cant wait until we can fucking swim in the pool at 3am with our clothes on, and pass out in her room, waking up when dawsons creek is on. i miss running up stairs to make coffee and easy mac, and break dancing on the kitchen floor with emily, and starting shit with strangers online.
it feels like august 11th is going to take years instead of months to get here.
on a lighter note, teresa and eve did come over and we dyed my hair and played yahtzee like the losers we are. friday is sams birthday party, but im not going because i already promised eve that we would go see justin's band play on friday. justin and eve are trying to set me up with his drummer, brandon, so maybe things will work out, who knows. i really want progress reports to come out because im ACTUALLY doing good in school right now.
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| "i bet you one dollar you couldnt order a 'moons over my hammy' with a straight face" |
[19 Feb 2005|03:14pm] |
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 enthralled |
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emery-under serious attack |
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so last night was just about the greatest night i have had in a very long time. i dont think i have EVER laughed as hard as i did yesterday.
well, eve was supposed to be coming home with me after school and we were supposed to be watching movies and whatnot because justin had to work, but she never came to school so that was the end of that. and then at lunch aj was like well, i can give you a ride home and we need to stop off at wal mart and then later on tonight your coming to dinner with us, so i called my mom from the pay phone and told her i was hanging out with aj after school and after me and teresa made up the gym class we missed, i went in the art room and me and kenzie waited for aj to finish her sculpture. we left around 3:30 and dropped kenzie off at her house, and then we had to go to aj's and let the dogs outside and then drove to the hess station which was fucking packed like always, so we went down the road to the citco station and then we had to go get my paycheck, and we didnt even make it to walmart. but we got back to my house and my mom like adores all my friends up here, and we just stood around and chatted for a little while. then aj left and teresa was supposed to be picking me up around 8 to go to olive garden, but its fucking impossible to get a table for five at olive garden on friday nights. so teresa called and was like "i hope your ready because im getting you early, i'll be at your house in ten minutes" so she came and got me, and we went to go pick up aziz and then we went over to aj's and met up with her and josh and talked to her dad and then almost got lost in etown trying to find the fucking dennys. it was great. me and josh we singing ben folds and we were telling all these hilarious jokes and we all ordered breakfast at like 9:30 at night and we had met the coolest black guy ever whose name was rony, and he gave me a thug hug before we left and i drew him a picture and it was fun. and there was this creepy guy who had long hair who looked like jesus and me and josh kept staring at his mustache. overall it was an awesome night. we were all going to go see constantine tonight at regal, but we have company coming over and i cant go.
i also cant go to MD on sunday night. fuck you snow.
we only have to pay $125 for senior week. it has 3 bedrooms (5 beds) two bathrooms, its oceanside and has two pools. sweet shit right there.
and im not allowed to go see ben folds OR something corporate with aj and teresa because my parents suck.
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[14 Feb 2005|05:50pm] |
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mood |
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pleased |
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dashboard confessional-swiss army romance |
] |
my aunt di called today and shes pregnant with another baby, and my dad got arrested ^_^
oh and happy valentines day, even though all like, ten of my valentines were girls.
i might go down to maryland on friday, and im so happy i might be able to see sara and emily and caitlin and possibly meet this joe kid. ooo, and sit in the back of sara's car and think about all the fun things were going to do and hopefully catch up on everything. god, i have so many stories for her.
nothing new happened. except for the photo shoot on friday. so many pictures!! and we went out for my sisters birthday and that was pretty much it. i have a dull life. but going to maryland will make me feel so much better.
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| "i got shot in the face.....BECAUSEIMSOPUNKROCK" |
[09 Feb 2005|05:47pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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ben folds five-kate |
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the past few days have been alright.
my mom freaked out about my report card as usual, so naturally im grounded. but i didnt pass the math portion of the PSSA's and you need to pass all three parts to graduate, and my mom was freaking out because i already made it into college and the school is telling me i cant graduate if i dont go to these classes next week and take another math test.
so, i was supposed to be going out in honor of my 17 1/2 on friday but of course i get grounded. but then i remembered teresa has to take me to work anyways, and no ones going to be home at my house on friday, so we're all just going to have coffee at my house. and kenzie was pissed because we havent called and she feels out of the group. oh and we worked out the plans for senior week and post prom the other day so that should be good.
teresa's mom is going to be at post prom, so we're getting her to let us leave, and then aj said her dad would cover up for us, because aj and josh are getting a hotel room, and me teresa eve justin aziz shawna and whoever else is cramming into the room next door to stay up all night and play board games because we're really honestly lame like that.
oh, and a big fuck you to justin from work! lol stupid anus is going to see senses fail at the end of the month haha and so is my brother. who BY THE WAY went to see 18v last night and called me to brag about it stupid fool.
i just read sar's lj and she got her lip pierced and im happy for her. she looks even more beautiful than before!!
haha lucky. i have to wait until fucking august 11th, unless april from work does it for me after i graduate which lately seems years and years away instead of just like, 4 months.
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| "laundry day, is a very dangerous day" |
[07 Feb 2005|04:23pm] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
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music |
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motion city soundtrack-throw down |
] |
sticking true to the title, laundry day in fact IS a very dangerous day, but not nearly as dangerous as report card day.
i despise report card day more than any other day. its worse than boxing day, secretary day, OR any canadian holidays.
because ladies and gentlemen, report card day means the same thing everytime it comes around. an ass beating. thats right.
creative writing- A
gym- B
chemistry- C
transportation systems- C
whats wrong with that you ask? absolutely nothing, well maybe to someone like you or i. but not to the parents. getting anything less than an 80% is considered THE DEVIL. now instead of getting the 'you'll never make it into college with these grades", it'll be "colleges will turn down your acceptance with these grades". blah. not to mention when my mom gets the mail later today, she will probably ground me, even though i dont have any of those classes anymore. and damn, i was going out to lunch on wednesday and celebrating my 17 and a half on friday....
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| "god brittany, move your buffalo legs!!" |
[05 Feb 2005|10:31pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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desaparecidos-greater omaha |
] |
so yeah, there was definitely a gas leak in my house and we didnt have heat. which meant that we had to go somewhere else instead of watching movies and playing yahtzee and seeing if we can eat 7 saltines in a minute in my basement tonight.
we drove to the mall. god i love teresa and eve. well we walked around park city for awhile and bought really gay keychains and tried on prom dress and looking at underwear while waiting for justin to arrive from his band practice. and then we looked around hot topic AGAIN ( i was so pissed they didnt have the dcfc shirt i wanted that they had there like last fucking week) and we went to payless and justin hid my shoes, and then we went to arbys and got drinks and then we went back to h&m so i could buy my underwear with the bat on the front for $2.73. and then that was it i guess.
oh yeah, we all went to the movies last night too. and we snuck in jones soda and me and justin were fighting over the green apple one, and i just let him take it, and i delt with drinking my cream soda. and j lowe kicked my ass in tekken tag like 5 times in the arcade thing before the movie. and he gave the people at the consessions stand the finger because they kept looking at us. teresa and i were scared through the entire movie, except for the ending because it was really gay. we kept laughing because ben was making all these hilarious comments behind us, and that was pretty much it i guess.
do i have buffalo legs? i didnt think i had buffalo legs. eve told me to move my buffalo legs because i had trouble getting in the backseat of teresa's car.
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| lets get physical |
[02 Feb 2005|03:52pm] |
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mood |
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they need one for spicy |
] |
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music |
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the early november-for all of this (yesss belinda!) |
] |
today sucked.
family living is for fucking morons i swear. that class is so easy. we had to do these skits and the only person i knew in my group was jeff. and he was the son and i was the mom, and we had to do something with defense mechanisms and he was in a gang, and then slapped this other kid who was supposed to be the daughter/sister. it was so gay.
gym. we had to do tae bo, AGAIN and twenty minutes of some black guys crotch bulge being projected on the gym wall is NOT what i would call a work out. jesus, it looks like someone stuck a basketball between his legs.
ahhh spanish 4. we had a quiz. i think i failed again.
algebra 2, was worthless and the senior assembly wasnt any better.
its funny how you always see people in the hallways, and you never talk to them. but in a stupid class meeting, you are looking around and waving at people and talking like you havent seen each other in years, ahhh magnificent.
the days are taking forever, and i hate it. thank god we're closer to the weekend now.
its tradition for me and eve to converse on the phone every night for an hour. we time it.
summing up last nights conversation:
-i'll always be eves 2nd best to justin
-i'll always be j lowes 2nd best to jesus
-we're in the cool crowd, but then again totally out of it
-2 little girl justins and 1 little boy brittany (haha reoccuring theme)
-movies on friday
-arranging movie watching on saturday
-prom
there was more, but im always out of it when we talk. god bless benadryll
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| "THERE WILL BE NO SPANISH SPOKEN HERE, YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!!" |
[01 Feb 2005|03:29pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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letter kills-carry you |
] |
Choose 10 people and without saying their names, write something about them and never reveal who they apply to.
(taken from stoneys lj)
1. where do i start? we've been bestfriends since 6th grade (well maybe not consecutively, but close enough). you're always there for me when i need you most, and no one, NO ONE will EVER understand me the way you do. "it'll always be my ____, my beanie baby collection, and my fiona apple cd" dear____ this bud lites for you! i could talk to you for years and years straight without stopping and i love you!! <3333
2. i remember the first time i met you, it was in 8th grade, and we shadowed the same day as each other at jc. since then, we have had our fair share of fights (but they never last very long) and when i need a good laugh, you always know what to say. who ELSE would support 'asian american day' by buying me a coloring book and crayons?! and the saddest rainbow ever? we have a dora the explorer fetish and i love it.
3. trekking down the river. black hoodie cult. super slide. the tramp. break dancing in the kitchen with wax paper. coffee. starbucks popsicles. soccer mom shirts. tight red plaid pants. easy mac. pic breeders. "some one pass the sass". haha i love you pig!
4. we had some swell times together i suppose. but of course if your stepmom wasnt a bitch and didnt hide the advil from me, then im sure camping with you wouldnt have sucked. thanks for not going to homecoming with andrew junior year. because i would have killed you ^_^
5. FIRST OF ALL I FREAKING LOVE YOU. with the asians for neighbors, and penne vodka. you are like my other, other half, and we share the bond of cupcake and _______. plus, poetry club would have sucked ass without my partner in crime. your my favorite jew, you + me + pink hot pants + camera = DRESSING ROOM PHOTO SHOOT IN DIVAH
6. i remember when we first started talking to you sophmore year.and you said you werent going to invite me to your birthday party with the chocolate cake and pony rides. and i remember liking your hair cuz it was REAL spikey. i have never met a guy who liked blink as much as youuuu. plus, its hot when we try on little childrens clothes at old navy, and concoct scams to get matt out of school early. youre a champ, and i love it when you me and caitlin hold hands and skip through harford mall together.
7. jew-b-q and matza bread. need i say more? naw nucca, you are going to have one hell of a super sweet 16.
8. i liked YOU for three years of high school. and if you only knew that we wrote a song about you......
9. i called you 'tank ass' and you got mad, but you know i think youre a trashy whore just the same.
10. remember when we walked around gregs neighborhood for an hour and a half ringing random door bells and leaving weird messages on lindsays phone? and those times at the playground with the mardi gras mask, and the 4 year old who wouldnt stop humping me, and the time your 8 year old neighbor slapped my ass and said i had a big butt. and for your information, "i liked brand new before you could wip your own ass" was simply magical. i couldnt rave without you.
i only did 10, because im lazy ^_^ it called for 20 but oh well.
*the quote was thanks to jurgen when i was doing my spanish homework in alg. 2. got to heart those nazi germans.
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| "he says, he doesnt like you because you dont believe in god." |
[31 Jan 2005|03:18pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
] |
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music |
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stellastarr*-somewhere across forever |
] |
right now i am thinking that the worst words you could say to someone is 'can we just be friends?'
ahhh fuck it. i wish i liked girls.
i am having such a miserable week, AND ITS ONLY MONDAY. between a D on my spanish quiz and an A on my algebra test, friday is looking amazing right about now. it sucks. eve has told me that we HAVE to go to the movies on friday, and shes been telling me about it for the past three weeks now. and then teresa said that we need to go dress shopping on friday in harrisburg, but i already promised eve, and i told teresa we'll just have to go some other time.
it sucks not having a best friend in fucking PA.
im just glad sara's having a good time with alexa, joe, and emily. i wonder if its a complete lost cause, because i cant just 'return' and have things be the way they used to be, even though i really want them to. lifes a bitch like that. you have something so constant and then things change, and people drift. it isnt really anyones fault, but it still hurts i guess.
im supposedly going out to coffee with teresa, aj and josh and some other kid named justin who goes to ctc, but im poor as a-hole and will end up borrowing money from people like i always do.
why the hell am i so awkward?
i look awkward
i make other people feel awkward.
damn i wish i knew what it felt like to be not awkward.
i dont know what this entry was just about, it was probably just a bunch of bullshit.
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falloutwhore's journal